Monday, February 7, 2011


My President informed the nation over the weekend that God has taken sides in South Africa, and that He is decidedly in the ANC’s corner. If that wasn’t enough, my President then said that a vote for the ANC in the upcoming municipal elections was a vote for heaven, and a vote for the opposition was a vote for hell. The Honourable Mr Zuma proclaimed the carrying of an ANC membership card as a sign of heaven’s blessing, and party spokesman Jackson Mthembu stood by these statements this morning with this: “We are, therefore, in agreement with the president that not voting for the ANC is tantamount to throwing your vote in burning hell”.

This has, of course, caused an uproar in our liberal democracy. As it should. Not because these statements are ‘offensive’, ‘blasphemous’ or even incendiary, all of which are matters of opinion. No, Mr Zuma’s remarks are merely stupid. We really are heading into Idiocracy, what with these “ANC=heaven” proclamations from On High, and Julius Malema eating sushi from Down Low. The burning question is: how did a nation like South Africa end up with people like this in charge? Do we deserve this? After all we endured and fought for and hoped for and prayed for? Is the legacy of Luthuli, Tambo, Tutu, Sisulu and Mandela going to be a cabal of tuna-munching, champagne-guzzling, bling-flinging morons?

Jackson Mthembu closed his statement with this absolute pearler: “Those who are ‘alarmed’ by [Zuma’s] expression are probably driven by jealousy for not having thought of the expression themselves.”

People of SA, these are our leaders!

They’re not blaspheming Anti-Christs, don’t let that distract you.

They’re just plain common-or-garden idiots.

The question really is, how do we get rid of them and get back to the business of forging a strong, vibrant, inclusive democracy?

Is that even still possible?

Your suggestions, please.