Showing posts with label South Africa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label South Africa. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

BARSTOOL NATION


There’s a lot of chatter in South Africa at the moment: offensive paintings, tweeting imbeciles, money-grubbing football coaches, and the usual day-to-day pillaging and looting that is the spirit of modern democracy. The media packages it all and we read and re-tweet it, but the real conversations are the ones that take place between actual people, like the one I observed last night.



Once in a while I stand in with a blues band down on Wilson’s Wharf in Durban. Tuesday nights in the city are nothing to write home about for white people anymore, and those that venture out aren’t exactly your typical Investec suburbanites. Last night, the white guy on the left in the picture, with all the grace and social skills of a failed sprocket salesman, downed goblets of red wine at the  bar and then turned his burgeoning invincibility on the black guy to his right.

The black guy was sitting quietly by himself two stools down sipping a draught and reading, of all things in a city bar on a week-night, a pocket-sized edition of Sun Tzu’s “The Art Of War”. White Guy noticed the title and pounced.

“ ‘The Art Of War’, hey? You fucking ANC guys…”

What followed was a loud stream of invective accompanied by wine-induced slouching and gesticulating (see picture), all  from the white guy and all based on two assumptions: 1. This particular black guy was responsible for the the state of the country at the moment, and 2. ‘The Art of War’ was some kind of ANC/black terrorist text.

The black guy, to his credit, just sat and listened. The white guy got louder and louder, throwing out phrases like “fucking kaffirs” etc. The bar staff in the immediate vicinity started paying very close attention in case it started getting nasty.

Then, inexplicably, the white guy goes, “Well, fuck it, I’m leaving anyway. Soon as I can get out of this bladdy country I’m gone”. After complaining and accusing, he’s leaving anyway? Then, even more inexplicably, the white guy and the black guy, unable to continue the one-sided conversation because of the barrage of white-guy blues rock from the guest band, get up and go outside to share a smoke and carry on their fireside chat. They came back in a few minutes later practically arm-in-arm, all national issues resolved.

As much as people like Julius Malema may make it embarrassing for some black people to be black, white guys like this make it excruciating to be white in a country like South Africa. When previously-advantaged white people show themselves to be more ignorant and uninformed and just plain dumber than their previously-disadvantaged countrymen, it’s teeth-clenchingly awful.

Somewhere down the line, though, this belligerent drunk smirking racist and this graceful, thoughtful quiet African man found some common ground, shared a drink and a smoke, and the staff reported back that they were ‘friends now’.

National Democratic Revolution be damned: this is the real South Africa.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

SAVAGED


The esteemed Rolling Stone magazine launched in South Africa recently, at the behest of a few wealthy hipsters with nothing better to do. Whether or not the South African music scene will benefit from Rolling Stone’s brand of music journalism is beside the point (although the fact that the hipsters chose Rolling Stone over Mojo or Uncut is telling). The fact is, until the money runs out, South Africans have yet another American brand making taste amongst its youth culture.



With the print version, featuring Van Coke Kartel doing the only thing they do well (a fashion shoot), came the obligatory online version, and a teacup-sized storm was unleashed when RSSA published an op ed piece by one of the supposed gate-keepers of the South African music industry, a muso-turned-radio-DJ named Jon Savage. Savage’s piece, despite being appallingly badly written and full of grandiose self-glorification, attempted to stir up some kind of debate about the state of modern South African music, and thankfully failed on all accounts.

I say ‘thankfully’ because God forbid someone as rabidly untalented and far too over-connected as Savage should have any claim to the state of the modern South African music industry (except perhaps as one of the many perpetrators of personality-less muzak that define modern SA rock music).

That being said, his unsupervised (and obviously unedited; great start, RSSA) time in front of his laptop has ‘everyone’ (read: concerned white rock fans) talking, and some of the comments, including Savage’s own, are revealing. Most respondents happily rubbish his piece, which at least says something positive about the state of critical reasoning south of the Equator. The odd few responded positively to his piece with what amounts to “fuck yeah!!!” After all, his diatribe against local music ended with some kind of call-to-arms: 

“So let's act like we've grown up! Let's break down the walls! Let's revolt! Lets hoist our fists mightily in the air and announce together ‘LOCAL IS NOT LEKKER!’ “

Yes, let’s.

Pressed for a response, he whined:

It feels like a) people haven’t read my article, or b) don’t understand what I wrote. The whole point of my article was to say that 10 years ago, you could HEAR that a band was South African when they were on the radio. Partly due to production, and partly due to not being exposed to enough of the international scene, and partly because there weren’t enough really top bands so the bar was set low! And therefore, loving music BECAUSE it was South African was necessary to help grow the industry. But now days, our bands are finally standing up on an international level in every way! We’ve got bands like Shadowclub, Zebra and Giraffe, Aking, Jack Parow etc etc – and many others who are categorically world class in every way and you can no longer distinguish between “local” and “international” bands because our bands are great! And therefore, the bar has been RAISED!!! We need to stop thinking of SA bands as “local” and we need to start thinking of them as bands!!! And local bands need to realize that the bar is no longer at Prime Circle level (a band considered to be hugely successful in SA), but we need to be aiming at Kings of Leon level (a band considered to be hugely successful on planet earth!!!!).

So,  apart from an over-reliance on exclamation marks, no clarity there either.

The point of all this, and this blog, is this: for over 40 years, white South Africans of a particular musical persuasion have wondered why South African rock ‘n roll has never been able to make an impact on international music markets. We’ve blamed apartheid, population demographics, lack of access to inspirational music through the apartheid cultural blockade (which is patently bullshit), lack of studio techniques, lack of equipment, idiot record companies (true), lack of talented producers and engineers (true, until fairly recently)… in short, everyone. 
White South African English-speaking rockers have never made it overseas in a big way, in the way that Australia produced INXS, Midnight Oil, or even pop legends like Kylie and Olivia Newton-John (not to mention AC/DC and the BeeGees). Or New Zealand produced Split Enz/ Crowded House. Or our other old Commonwealth cousin Canada produced Bryan Adams, Neil Young or Shania Twain.

Why?

It is kind of odd, you have to admit.

We’re not talking about white Afrikaans rock and pop. In their limited market, they sell outstandingly. And black South African music is, of course, hugely innovative and internationally successful.

But the sout-piele just can’t cut it. White South African English-speaking rock is of a dismally low-standard in the one crucial area that all music revolves around (although the way things are going internationally, not for long): songwriting.

Most SA bands have gotten technically more proficient. There are more rock bands per captia than at any other time in SA’s short music history, and most of these bands have access to cheap consumer versions of recording technology that enable them to record singles and albums with minimal expense. The whole landscape has changed, and in one area some SA bands at least are world-class: videos. There are a lot of talented visual people here, and some innovative, groundbreaking music videos have been produced.

But hardly any actual songs.

Lots of gurning and aping and shape-throwing and hipster-fashion and Cobain/Nickleback-esque white-angst, but nothing to really sing along to.

That’s been the bane of white South African rock music since time began, although along the way people like Robin Auld, Johnny Clegg, Bernard Binns (The Helicopters? Anyone?), Tully McCulley and Patric van Blerk have done us proud.

Is that what you’re kinda-sorta trying to get at, Mr Savage? Do you think mediocre nothingness like Zebra & Giraffe or aKing is world-class?
Really?
How exactly do people like you end up dictating to the heaving masses what’s cool and what isn’t? And how do you expect SA rock music to have any future if people like you are the tastemakers?

We obviously can’t rely on Rolling Stone.

They let you write.

And then they published it.





Thursday, September 8, 2011

COMPASSION: SOUTH AFRICAN-STYLE (A TALE OF TWO ATTITUDES)



A friend of mine regularly buys food for street children, which she hands out of her car window whenever she's stopped at traffic lights and asked for help.
Yesterday, as she handed a store-bought cheese sandwich to an uncomfortably-young street child, a guy in the next car rolled his window down and hurled abuse at her for her actions. "It's people like you", he lectured, "that encourage these kaffirs".

Needless to say, the guy was white, and the street kid was black.

What do we do with this stuff?
Would we really rather glare menacingly through our windscreens at 'bloody beggars' than actually provide a little respite from the ravages of hunger? Fair enough, there's an argument to be made against giving cash, as we all know how that system has been abused by lazy parents pimping out their kids to get beer money. But food? Come on. Feeding someone is  quite different to enabling their vices.

And how about the race issue? The intolerance? The lack of compassion? The right this guy thought he had to judge the actions of a complete stranger? The sheer arrogance and lack of humanity his attitude betrayed?

Incidentally, her response as she drove off was, "It's people like you that are fucking this country up".


Monday, February 7, 2011

IDIOCRACY


My President informed the nation over the weekend that God has taken sides in South Africa, and that He is decidedly in the ANC’s corner. If that wasn’t enough, my President then said that a vote for the ANC in the upcoming municipal elections was a vote for heaven, and a vote for the opposition was a vote for hell. The Honourable Mr Zuma proclaimed the carrying of an ANC membership card as a sign of heaven’s blessing, and party spokesman Jackson Mthembu stood by these statements this morning with this: “We are, therefore, in agreement with the president that not voting for the ANC is tantamount to throwing your vote in burning hell”.

This has, of course, caused an uproar in our liberal democracy. As it should. Not because these statements are ‘offensive’, ‘blasphemous’ or even incendiary, all of which are matters of opinion. No, Mr Zuma’s remarks are merely stupid. We really are heading into Idiocracy, what with these “ANC=heaven” proclamations from On High, and Julius Malema eating sushi from Down Low. The burning question is: how did a nation like South Africa end up with people like this in charge? Do we deserve this? After all we endured and fought for and hoped for and prayed for? Is the legacy of Luthuli, Tambo, Tutu, Sisulu and Mandela going to be a cabal of tuna-munching, champagne-guzzling, bling-flinging morons?

Jackson Mthembu closed his statement with this absolute pearler: “Those who are ‘alarmed’ by [Zuma’s] expression are probably driven by jealousy for not having thought of the expression themselves.”

People of SA, these are our leaders!

They’re not blaspheming Anti-Christs, don’t let that distract you.

They’re just plain common-or-garden idiots.

The question really is, how do we get rid of them and get back to the business of forging a strong, vibrant, inclusive democracy?

Is that even still possible?

Your suggestions, please.